hey folks. here's one long long post for you.

i just remembered i'm one of the few who should update (editor sounds too...heavy for me) our blog after i saw those ear piercing and heart breaking messages on the spam board.

well, i can't update on church events since i'm barely there but since i'm up to writing, i suppose i'll just...say something.

let's start with, me. about what's happening to me.

no one knows what's up with me, except for that one call i get and a few messages now and then. and i don't get deep down into my life in blog. and i'm pretty much heartless is sending and replying sms-es.

anyway..

i'm fine i suppose. homework is piling. sleeping time is limited. let's just say my days are filled and i'm on the verge of going berserk. oh yes i am.

my walk with God? it's alright.

that is, i'm not on the brink of falling out or anywhere near that.

sometimes i have the urge to sit down and cry. to sob quietly. and cry and cry and cry.

why?

i miss home and the comfort of familiar faces. i miss home so much that i'm surprised at myself.

you know when you're in school, no matter how stressed up and freaked out you are, you know you're not going anywhere else but home at the end of the day. going home to good ol' bed and going home to the presence of mum and dad. you'll probably get a hug as well.

back at home, you know you have friends who have stuck by you for a gazillion years. loyalty put to test and they turn out to be your most loyal fans and you're their fans as well.

away from home, you've got to start all over again. doing your best to change your little corner in your unit to a hidey hole and make everything smells like everything at home. but heck, it's not home.

you've got to make new friends. for me, friends who'll be around me for maybe only a year. and for me, one who is not so willing to confide in anyone, it's harder. 6 months on, and my friends and i are good friends. laughters and more laughters and complains. period.

i don't know, but you don't make close friends out of good friends in a snap of fingers. i'm stubborn i guess.

sometimes i miss home so much that i dread waking up.

all the sad stuffs huh?


undoubtedly, i have my share of fun. i can't say i hate the life i have now. i'm no hypocrite. living out let me reign my life, my time, my activities. it makes you alive. you learn. you see things. you go places. you move on. you have freedom.

definitely the prime time of one's life.

i'm thankful for that. really, i am. i'm thankful that God made me who i am.

after all, it's a don't worry, be happy time.

each morning especially when i dread college so much, i pray. i sit on my bed and pray. a short one.

then i think of those small things i look forward to, like my english class. i love my english class and i love doing the assignments.

watching Gilmore Girls online. the things i do in my hidey-hole. looking through the pro photos in flickr. cooking with my room mate. unlimited access to chocolates and ice cream (drawback = no cash) all those small stuffs.

i think that's how i get through the days.

and then there's the "Lord, i don't know how i'm going to work with this person in my group. Help me to control myself from being bossy and loud. Amen." prayers. and things worked out well. =)

the joy of the Lord has definitely been my strength.

missing home? i just tick off the days, until it is the day for me to hop on a bus and go home.

Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.
James 1:4

sometimes, He puts things in my days that make me go all excited and hyped. like the idea of teaching Maths in a children's shelter which i really look forward to. and the mention of short term missions which i really hope i can go this year. (i have a list of things i wish to do, 50 things and more altogether, and one of it is to become a missionary. haha, unpredictable huh?)


so, how am i doing?

i'm well and not 100% swell. and yes, i'm still with God. i stick Bible verses on the wall to...well, remind me that i can do it.

dear kian aun, i gave you a short answer yesterday. this is a more complete one and someday, i'll show you the pictures of the on-the-wall bible verses.

and i'm sticking to Ipoh. DON'T call me a KL person.



oh, HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY FEI WONG!


i'll see you guys soon =)

till then,
tsuey

p/s: don't have the impression that leaving home is that sad an affair. i just dramatise it to make it juicy and palatable.