struggling soul survived

I am guilty for being absent from the blogosphere for so long.

I've just finished my thesis, or better known as Final Year Project (FYP). Want to thank Dr. KokMing for providing the most upbeat data and information to me. Right now Im preparing for my final exam due in a weeks' time. Oh dear, did I just mentioned a weeks' time??? bOing~

Here's something that has been burdening me for a very long time. Guess it's time I get it off my chest.

KL is really a happening place. Cant deny that. When I first came to KL, I was really like an "ulu" girl coming to a big city. Everything is so majestic and my eyes did open up, as I've said... ulu ma. Never see big city before. And everything and everyone is so cool. The clothes they wear, the food displayed on the plate, the gigantic shopping malls... and the list goes on.

But one thing that has been an issue for me since coming to KL is tattooing. I find them very cool and extremely sexy. Especially around the waist area. Getting up from the chair, exposing what lies beneath that sheer piece of cloth. So drop dead gorgeous! ohh-la-la...

Here's the dilemma. On one hand, I know that it is mentioned in the Bible that the body is a holy temple and we shouldnt "dirty" it, on the other hand, I want it! I really want to get a tattoo!

I've been contemplating this past 3 years -- to tattoo or not to tattoo? Initially, I did not tattoo because my granny said she'll disown me if I do. *gulp* Then I came up with a brilliant idea -- tattoo somewhere she couldnt see lar. Like my lower spine or near my belly where it is always covered up :P When I want to do something, I can always come out with excuses.

As time passed, the excitement of getting a tattoo slowly dies down. But it doesnt leave me in peace for very long, cause after a good 2 months or so, this idea comes haunting me again. Off and on. Off and on. For three years.

All these while, I've been asking around for opinions on tattoos but their answer was not strong enough to deter me from resisting tattoo. I've even ask God for signs. Unfortunately, no definite answer was given.

Last week, during the Ladies' Bible study, I brought this topic out. I feel that it's time I open up because I cant seem to find the solution. And I dont want to be tempted to do things I will regret later on in life. I need a way out!

Heart was poured and each has their own opinion towards tattooing. Auntie SooHan spoke up and gave me a verse. She told us she was meditating and suddenly this verse popped out of no where. She wrote it down at the side of the book, maybe, she said, this verse was meant for me...

"Dont be concerned about the outward beauty of fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry or beautiful clothes. You should clothe yourselves instead with the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God."

1 Peter 3:3,4

The verse speaks for itself. After the long angel-versus-devil-on-my-shoulder battle... I've decided not to tattoo my body. I want to keep it pure and holy for God and for my future husband :)

*applause*