Saturday, March 28, 2009

Because I was named "Stirrer" :D

Hello everyone!
It has been long since I last spoke eh? Must have been a surprise to you to read this from me :D But I was reading the blog and I noticed that I still have access to the blog and you guys have renamed the blog authors as..stirrers. I guess that means I will have the responsibilities of "stirring" up something. So here goes :)
I'll start with myself. I owe you guys much updates.
Hello :) My first academic year here is ending in 1 month's time. Right now, I am in the process of tying up all the bits and pieces of my studies and get down for finals and can you believe I had 10 midterms for this term?! I have projects and assignments and one last midterm and quizzes to be done with before my finals come, and then I can finally have some rest in May.
I got bored of winter and spring is slowly seeping in, so my mood really goes all the way up there when I check the temperature and it says 11 degrees. Hahaha, I never knew I would be so happy to see a positive number. (winter was down to -20 :/ )
It all sounds pretty crazy to me. This ride hasn't been easy on me. I had motion sickness and I have vomitted and I have hated parts of the journey. Sometimes the ride is smooth and I felt as if the road will go on like how I think it will, and most of the times it didn't. I have had minor accidents along the way, bruises and injuries, and I have (or had to) picked up myself after each bump. Sometimes I limp after each fall and the bruises heal rather slowly.
It has been a journey and I know it will still be a journey...for eternity.
It dawned upon me how small a perspective I have on what God can do with me. Each time after a horrible exam result, I go down to the bins. Literally. My guts plummet to the deepest ravine and I am afraid of studying. I find my studies a place where I get rejected (with the results) and a place of which I have fear. Studies becomes my Egypt.
This process of going down the ravine and climbing out of it and going down and coming up repeats endlessly and to be honest, I am tired of it. First year of engineering and I am already this stressed. It's scary to me.
Pure foolishness.
If God's plan is a piece of white paper and university is the one of the small black dots on the paper, I'm looking at the dot. In fact, I'm squinting hard at it. And it's painful. Try squinting hard at something for a long time and you'll tell me it hurts. How stupid.
Why squint so hard and pain yourself in the process when you can choose to relax your eyes and look at the big white piece of paper?
I am by no means saying you shouldn't squint at the dots at all, I'm just saying (or rather telling myself) not to squint that hard, to the extent you forget it is actually a part of the big white paper.
To sum up what I've learn:
Relationship with God = {Faith, Praying, wanting to know His will, fall down, cry, allow Him to pick you up, Loving Him, Loving others} and there are actually so much more.
So..how has everyone been? I read about the Indon mission trip and personal impact chain it has on EY. Now that you guys are back, how do you intend to live out what you have learnt?
A lot of times when we think about outreach, we tend to think about going far out (or far in) to places we have never thought of, places where we think we will have barriers of communication, places of which will need great prayers to have a breakthrough. I think yes, we still need to get to those places but let us not lose sight of people already in our lives.
The word "outreach" means reaching out, and it could be as simple as reaching out to our neighbours. Ask yourself again, what does outreach mean to you? How do you justify your acts of going all out to many places to your current life? Again, I also believe that as people watch us as Christians, they are telescoping into our actions. They read our every deeds and weigh them. Can't blame them; who asked us to proclaim we are believers of Christ.
Do we practise what we preach? Are we serious with God?
By writing these down, I do not in any sense tell you that I have perfected my walk with God. I am writing with love and a humble heart. I have so much more to share and to learn. I have learnt so much thus far, both academically and spiritually, and it is my joy to share what I have picked up along the way. It is not my means of bragging but I am holding you guys accountable for what I'm learning :D
I won't be back for the summer because my parents are leaving for UK (to babysit!) end of June and I will be meeting them there. So, looks like I won't be home for a pretty long time. Well well.
This is for now, I have to sleep :D
In His grip,

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p/s: My pastor mentioned someone signing off with "In His grip", signifying that we are always in His grip. Pretty cool :)


Can we say that the old is gone and the new has come?

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